Journal Entry from Africa

After college, I spent 2 years in Kenya. I loved it!! This is an entry from my journal that a friend wanted to read, so I figured I'd post it... enjoy.

Mt. Kilimanjaro is a beautiful thing I’ve heard. I can’t tell you for certain. I’ve never actually seen it with my own two eyes. I must admit that there is a touch of jealousy in me. In the 2+ years that I’ve lived in East Africa, I have passed that mountain at least 12 times. It’s always too cloudy, or too dark, or I’m simply in the back seat asleep. For whatever reason, I have yet to behold the glory of Kilimanjaro.

There are people on this mission trip with me that have spent a grand total of 2 ½ weeks in Tanzania who have seen Kilimanjaro… more than once. It just doesn’t seem fair. Deep down though, I know that I could see it if I really wanted to. I could just sit at the base of the mountain until the clouds pass, or wait in anticipation for the sun to rise, or simply wake up from my slumber in the back seat and open my eyes. The best way to see the mountain though, is to grab your gear and start climbing.

It’s funny how we can be the same way with God. Some people start the Christian life knowing that they are going to be in it for the long haul, so they think that there is no real need to rush to see and do everything. There is plenty of time. Their view of God may be clouded (by the things they busy themselves with), or dark (because of the sin in their lives), or perhaps they are just in the back seat sleeping (while others around them are telling them what to believe or how do live). Then there are those who are so excited about their new faith that they rush to see, taste, feel, hear, and experience every bit of God that they can at every moment that they can.

Many of us are like I am with Kili, we want to see the beauty of God, but we want Him to be visible whenever we happen to pass by. Some of us need to just sit still at His feet and wait for the clouds to pass so that we can see Him more clearly. Some of us just need to hold on for a few short hours until the dawn comes with the Son and pierces the darkness. Some of us need to get off our backsides and simply open our eyes and look at Him. Just as the best way to see the mountain is to climb it, the best way to see the glory of God is to grab our gear and seek after Him with all of our hearts. Scripture tells us that if we drawn near to Him, He will drawn near to us.

You know, I have always thought that Mt. Kilimanjaro is a nice place, but my friends that have been up that mountain… they love it.

Peaceful eyes.

Today was the first day back to school after Christmas break. Our kiddo's social worker came over today also. I was worried that Muscles would have a rough day and come home ready for a fight. His worker was at our house when he got home and he was incredibly pleasant. I could see the peace in his eyes. I was so excited. We had some disappointing thing happen this evening, but he didn't throw a fit. He cried a bit, but moved on very quickly. He is learning to control his emotions. It's a long, uphill battle, but I think he can do it :)

52. Medicine that helps.

53. Sugar free snacks

54. Online freebies

55. Forgiveness

56. Honesty from those I love

57. Cribs that can't be climbed out of

58. cell phone games

59. YMCA

30 Day Photo Project

This one is a no brainer, with a very close tie for 2nd place, so I'll add them both.

Day 3: Photo of Cast of your favorite TV show

NCIS

Criminal Minds

A new year...

2 Cor 5:17 - The old has passed away, behold all things become new.

I love New Year's Eve. It feels so much like a chance to wipe the slate clean. And boy, does my slate need cleaning sometimes.

If I've learned anything this year, it is that I'm not NEARLY as wonderful as I think I am. I have so many more issues that I ever knew about. Anger. Control. Power. Pride. The list could go on for ages, but for the sake of my sanity when I go back and read this later, I will stop now.

I often take my children places and complete strangers tell me how wonderfully they are behaving.

You must be doing something right.

How in the world are you so blessed to have such wonderful angels?

You must be a great mom...

So on and so forth... I appreciate it. I really do. But then I go home and cry.... if I even make it home.

Not too long ago, this happened at Cracker Barrel. Prince Charming and I took all 5 of our little crazies out for breakfast. About half way through our meal, an older gentleman and his bride walked by us and he whispered a sweet remark about how pleasant it was to see so many kids behaving so well in public. I thanked him very much and assured him it was only by the grace of God.

Toward the end of our meal, a lady from a nearby table headed our direction. She also commented about how wonderful they had been. I thanked her politely and continued to get my kids ready to head back out to the car. Charming took several and left two with me. I sat quietly for a few moments, waiting for the last two to finish their last minute bites and put on their coats. As I sat, I was overcome with the need to tell this woman that she was crazy. My kids are not well behaved, they are faking it! But I knew it wasn't true. They are well behaved. I have amazing kids.

Ma'am, thank you for your kind words about my children. I really needed to hear that today. I've been yelling at them for one thing after another all morning.

So far that morning, Cuddlebug had broken 3 dishes, Muscles had been in trouble several times, Protector and Princess were being good... generally, and Baby Girl was, well, a baby. I was so frustrated with them that we almost didn't go out to eat. I'm glad we did though. It was a reminder that we all have our problems, but to most people, we look pretty nice. Perhaps we're not quite as dysfunctional as I think we are.

30 Day Photo Project

Day 2: Photo of self and the person you have been the closest with the longest.

This feels kinda like a cop-out picture, but this is me, along with some ladies that have been dear friends of mine for many years.

30 Day Photo Project

I recently discovered this list of a 30 day photo project. It looks like fun, so I think I'll give it a shot. Here are the list of days, with Day 1 completed at the bottom.


30 Day Photo Project
Day 1: Photo of self with 15 facts
Day 2: Photo of self and the person you have been the closest with the longest
Day 3: Photo of Cast of your favorite TV show
Day 4: Photo of Your Night
Day 5: Photo of an Old Memory
Day 6: Photo of a person you would love to trade places with
Day 7: Photo of most treasured item
Day 8: Picture that always makes you laugh
Day 9: Picture of person who has gotten me through the most
Day 10: Picture of the person you do the most messed up things with
Day 11: Picture of something you hate
Day 12: Picture of something you love
Day 13: Picture of Fave band/Artist
Day 14: Picture of someone you could never imagine life without
Day 15: Picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16: Picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17: Picture of something that has made a big impact on you
Day 18: Picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19: A picture and a letter
Day 20: Picture of somewhere you would like to travel
Day 21: Picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22: Picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23: Picture of a favorite book
Day 24: Picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25: Picture of your Day
Day 26: Picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27: PIcture of yourself and a family member
Day 28: A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29: A picture that always makes you smile
Day 30: A picture of someone you miss


So, here is Day 1. Not only is it a pic of me, but it's a pic of me and a gorgeous stud!!!

1. I love Jesus.
2. I love Jason.
3. I have 5 wonderful kids.
4. I'd dying to start homeschooling.
5. I hate seeing old pictures of my kids and seeing how much they've grown up, I want them to stay little so badly.
6. I'm coming up on 6 years cancer free.
7. My baby brother has my dream job... you know, if I had a dream job.
8. I'd drop Louisville on a dime and move my family to Africa if I had the chance.
9. Two and a half years later and I still miss my Papaw so much that I cry at night.
10. I can make a mean meatloaf.
11. I LOVE fresh baked bread.
12. I secretly love when my kids sneak in my room at night and climb in my bed.
13. I get incredibly frustrated when I watch season after season of a show on Netflix, and then get to the end of season 5 (or whatever) and season 6 isn't out yet...
14. When I put up my Christmas tree, the lights stay on 24-7 until, with great disappointment, I have to put it all away. I hate the sight of an unlit Christmas tree.
15. I think Cuddlebug took a screw out of my desk chair and I could fall on the floor any second now...

So tired... so very tired.

No, I'm not too sleep deprived. Just tired. My kiddos are wearing me out lately. Muscles especially. Every day is a tantrum... or 2, or 3, or if I'm really lucky, 4. It is so hard to express to him that I love him, while I'm biting my tongue.

He has some days that are better than others. I have some days that are better than others. I've just run across a blog that I think I may love. She seems to share some daily battles with me. Pray for us as we teach our children that our love is real, and our family is forever.